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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22631617">Splitting the Atom</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/perihadion/pseuds/perihadion'>perihadion</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Schism [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Mandalorian (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Love/Hate, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Rivals to Lovers to Bitter Exes, Sexual Content, Undying loyalty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:48:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>945</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22631617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/perihadion/pseuds/perihadion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Paz Vizla's perspective on the events of 1x03 “The Sin”.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/Paz Vizla</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Schism [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1632778</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>160</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Splitting the Atom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>this disguise covers bitter lies</em><br/>
<em>repeating the joke</em><br/>
<em>the meaning it dies</em><br/>
<em>(it's easy, don't let it go</em><br/>
<em>don't lose it)</em><br/>
— “Splitting the Atom”, Massive Attack</p><p>*</p><p>When they first started sleeping together Din had been just another warm body to Paz. He found the other man’s lithe form and laconic nature appealing: they would rut like animals with no need for conversation and no need to make a big deal of it. If he sometimes threw an arm around Din's hips afterwards and left it there until morning that was just an echo of the primal need to be with another human. If he sometimes gripped him hard enough to bruise that was a show of dominance and not of possession. If he enjoyed it when Din left marks on his own body it was just pride at the younger man's defiance.</p><p>When Din was injured he would come to Paz, and Paz would peel back his layers and put him back together.</p><p>“Disgraceful,” he would say. “To let an enemy mark you like this. Be more careful.”</p><p>“I didn’t know you cared,” Din would respond.</p><p>But what started as a gruff reprimand from Paz became tempered with genuine concern; and the sarcastic pushback from Din became an expression of gentle surprise at the clear depth of Paz's feelings.</p><p>Things had carried on like this for months before Paz was forced to confront the reality that his feelings for the other Mandalorian had taken on unanticipated form and colour. The desire for something more permanent grew within him slowly, insidiously, until it became unavoidable (and, beyond that, the desire to see and be seen by Din became overwhelming).</p><p>*</p><p>“... the marriage vow?” Din said, when Paz broached the topic at last. Paz grunted in response and crossed his arms, it having taken everything in him even to raise the subject.</p><p>Din said nothing and for once Paz felt frustration with the other man's laconic nature burn in his belly. Something occurred to him, and the frustration blossomed into barely-contained rage. “Are you afraid?” he said, unable to keep the bite of contempt from his voice.</p><p>Din remained silent and then, after a moment, nodded.</p><p>Without thinking Paz’s hand shot out and grabbed the rim of Din’s helmet. Din reacted just as fast, gripping Paz’s wrist and holding it in place. They glared at each other. Paz felt the pain and humiliation of rejection burn its way through him, leaving charred-black emptiness in his veins. “Fine,” he said, pulling his hand away roughly.  “Have it your way, coward.”</p><p>Din said nothing as Paz brushed past him — hard enough to knock him back, but not hard enough to hurt — and they both knew it was over.</p><p>*</p><p>For Paz to see Din after that felt like an unbearable insult: just the sight of the other man prompted a feeling like fire burning through him hot enough to smelt beskar. When Din returned to the Covert he made no effort to avoid Paz, nor did he go out of his way to see him — it was as if his orbit had never been bent by Paz’s immense gravity, as if Paz had never been anything to him.</p><p>This made their occasional clashes inevitable, and their clashes often resulted in Paz going for Din’s helmet.</p><p>He told himself the desire to see the other man unmasked was out of his conviction that Din was dishonourable, that he was not a true Mandalorian — and only in part because he wanted revenge, because he wanted Din to feel the sting of humiliation just as Paz had.</p><p>It had nothing to do with a lingering desire to see him, really see him. It had nothing to do with the desire to know him and be known by him which still smouldered, darkly, in his gut.</p><p>*</p><p>“Have you ever removed your helmet?” the Armorer asked Din. Paz felt something of the old pain rush through him; every muscle tensed as he and Din stood in the forge with their blades drawn — once again standing off over this.</p><p>“No,” Din said, keeping his gaze locked on Paz.</p><p>“Has it ever been removed by others?” the Armorer said.</p><p>“Never,” Din replied, but there was a strange undertone to his voice which ran through Paz as if Din had shanked him. For the first time it occurred to him that Din might have thought of that moment as often as he had, alone on the Razor Crest, wondering how different things might have been. He felt a stab of compassion for the other man.</p><p>“This is the Way,” the Armorer said. Paz relaxed his stance and let the blade fall from Din’s throat.</p><p>“This is the Way,” he said.</p><p>*</p><p>It was Paz who relayed the message about Din to the Armorer — without hesitation.</p><p>“Why would Din Djarin start a firefight in the bazaar?” she asked him.</p><p>“He had a child with him,” Paz responded. The Armorer tilted her head and Paz knew what she would decide. He nodded in assent. “This is the Way,” he said.</p><p>*</p><p>Paz made a point of landing by Din so that Din would know he was also there — that after everything he still came. The light glinted off Din’s visor as he followed Paz’s descent from the sky, rapt, and Paz was struck by the realisation that he could still bend time and space around Din — that Din was still affected by his gravity.</p><p>“You’re going to have to relocate the Covert,” Din said, and Paz knew that what he meant was ‘thank you’.</p><p>“This is the Way,” he responded, and what he meant was ‘I will always come when you need me’.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you enjoyed this fic you may also like <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22273087/chapters/53190304">the first chapter of Pagan Poetry</a>, which also explores the relationship between Paz and Din and I consider in continuity with this one.</p><p>Come say hi on <a href="http://twitter.com/theoceanblooms">twitter</a> or <a href="http://spectroscopes.tumblr.com">tumblr</a>! If you really liked this fic, it would be lovely if you could <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/reblog/190740409349/J0QMhUU1">reblog</a> on tumblr.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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